what language does your phone speak?

This afternoon I ran into a problem I’ve had on numerous occasions with my phone. I was in my car, using bluetooth, to make a call. I hit the ‘phone’ button on my steering wheel and the phone said ‘Main Menu’.

I said “Call Amanda”.

It said ‘Would you like to call Pam?’

I said “No.”

‘Would you like to call Tourist Information?’


‘Please press the call button to select from the following names: Brian. Mano. The Japanese Embassy.’


Lets try again…

“Call AMANDA!”

It said ‘Would you like to call Pam?’

‘Would you like to call Mom?’

“NO!!! Cancel.”

‘Sorry, I don’t understand that request.’


Lets try again…

“Call Ah-MAN-DAh!”

It said ‘Would you like to call Pam?’

‘Would you like to call Steven?’

“NO!!! Cancel.”

‘Sorry, I don’t understand that request.’


At this stage I asked Wayne to help. I pressed the phone button and he said (in an INDIAN accent): “Call Amanda”.

It said ‘Calling Amanda’.

I mean, really.

Its like that message to text thing some phone services offer.

Have you ever got a message from them that makes sense?

You say “Hi, I’m calling about the table you have on Gumtree. Please call me back this afternoon”.

The message the guy on the other side probably says “Hi I’m talking around me cable pull have up tree. Please collar after you.”

I don’t have a typical Australian accent, but I really am not that hard to understand. I speak English. As a native speaker. With a mostly northern American accent… you wouldn’t think technology would have such a hard time understanding me.

But its not just me it doesn’t understand. The amount of times I’ve received incomprehensible texts (which have been conveniently converted to text for me by a helpful phone provider) makes me wonder if they aren’t just having a joke at our expense…


2 thoughts on “what language does your phone speak?

  1. You DO know that technology will win in the end, don't you? We're doomed. I don't have a cell phone, but the Social Security Administration requires that I have one so that they can send me a code to access my own records. On top of that, I still have to sign in with my user name and password. Thank goodness Katie has a cell phone that is as dumb as a box of rocks (very minimal services), but I can't access Social Security without her being here with me! If I didn't have a means to get a code, I would actually have to call them with a specific question when all I want to do is look around. Jeez…Life is SO hard! (That's funny about the Indian accent!)


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