I’ve been in Athens for more than a month so far caring for my mother. If you remember, she’d been unwell all last summer from various falls, COVID, pneumonia and pain. She recovered enough to return to her home in Athens and was even able to walk to the little park opposite our house to enjoy the sunshine on nice days.

In October she fell again and seemed to recover quickly from that till about mid January when the pain became unbearable. Of course she kept me in the dark as to how bad it was and luckily her friends and neighbours helped her with things like the housework and food preparation.

She was taken to a doctor who told her she needed to either stay in bed* or put on a brace. My mother refused both options. Stubborn.

*Bed was not an option in my mind. At her age, bed rest for any period of time means she’d never get up again.

When I learned how bad things were I came and began to care for her. She’s in a bad way. She has multiple osteoporotic fractures in her spine from the various falls (or just from living, according to the doctor) and there is no real ‘fix’.

Alternatives were bandied about (mostly by hopeful me) like a cement like substance injected into the vertebrae to tie them together, spinal fusion, anything, grasping at straws, but the doctors all say that due to her age (93) these options are not really viable. They say they can cause more problems, may not in fact help with the pain, and put her at risk of complications.

So, it seems pain killers and management are the way to go.

hmph.

Mom has had issues with constipation all her life due to a genetic issue, so taking opioids is not an option at all. So she’s living on Paracetamol.

She’s been fitted with a brace that she’s been told to wear for a month, then have another MRI to see how things are going.

Right. As if old fractures will heal after all this time… allow me to be skeptical.

Mom is wearing it and complaining, naturally, but she has no choice. She doesn’t want to take the pain pills either for fear of constipation (though with various stool softeners, that’s not an issue) and because ‘they don’t help at all’. She’s also refusing to do more tests cause she’s ‘not a guinea pig’ and its too painful to go have the tests done.

I don’t blame her… she can barely go from one room to another without intense pain and wearing herself out, imagine having to go to some lab in a taxi then wait her turn, and then get on a metal slab… but… what can I do?

Its been bad enough mom called/calls/wants me to call various doctors as if someone will tell her something different. sigh.

We’re in Athens for another month now, then I’m taking her to Paros. I don’t believe she will get any better, so I may as well go where I have some chances of earning money. Its either that or I give everything up and stay in Athens. Not that hasn’t crossed my mind…

I’m a bit depressed. When I arrived I’d brought needle felting stuff and I’ve made a few critters which I can’t finish cause I don’t have all my stuff here to finish them. Plus I ran out of steam. I started trying to paint and feel like an untalented hack. Nothing works. So I care for mom and watch a lot of stuff on Netflix.

As if that wasn’t all bad enough, last Friday my mom’s youngest sibling – her closest sister – had what we think was an aneurism. She’d been complaining of headaches and was leaving a friend’s house when they found her lying unconscious on the ground in the orchard with multiple broken bones. They flew her to Athens to an intensive care unit where she never woke up, dying 24 hrs later. It might sound harsh, but she is lucky she passed away and didn’t linger. She was already struggling with the beginnings of dementia, broken bones and whatever other issues she may have had wouldn’t have left her with much quality of life.

So, my life currently revolves around caring for mom. She can barely stand using a walking frame or move without intense pain from her back down her legs. She’s getting weaker. I dress her and put the brace on for her in the morning and undress and remove it at night, I prepare her meals (and let me tell you, I never liked cooking much… especially greek food!) she spends most of the day in the living room where she sits or lies on the couch all day.

At least she has friends and neighbours visit her here and help the time pass. And she has the phone almost permanently attached to her ear. With her sister’s death the both the landline and mobile have been ringing constantly.

I have no inspiration. I want to go home but worry about how I’ll manage to work when mom needs me at home so much. I can groom from home, or I could go out and do max 2 dogs but my time away from home will be limited because she will need help.

I’m speaking to someone about removing my bath tub and putting in a shower so she can get in and out. And I’m trying to figure out how I can make my tiny home more comfortable for the two of us.

So, that’s my news in case you were wondering. Hopefully I’ll get inspired again and finish my felted critters or do something to share. Till then… its been nice knowing ya!

z