Yep. Another fish. So what is it with fish anyway?
I dunno. I just like them I guess. I like their big flat eyes, their shape and the colours. Plus they kind of suit island life and I am working towards selling them through a shop on Paros… as well as online.
This last fish was done using ink pencils and watercolour an I’m liking the crispness. So was the one below.
The sea urchins look a little bit too colourful, like candy, but the photo I was working on had them in all colours. I don’t know if that’s natural or if they were dyed. Here in Greece I’ve only seen black, green and grey ones.
So sea urchin candy it is.
When I get back to Paros I will be going back to my paintings on marble as I love the way paints sits on that surface. However working on paper has its benefits too… for one thing paper is much easier to post overseas. Cause all my work is for sale unless otherwise stated.
I’m really looking forward to trying a few different techniques but I have to buy a couple of things… I had planned to do that today but time just flies when you’re having fun. I have to take mom to the doctor tomorrow so I’ll pick them up while I’m out. I try to combine trips as much as possible.
Other than that, nothing earth shattering to report. No new gems from Aunt 1. Just the same ol’ stuff.
I’m sure she’s improving physically though the whining continues at Olympic level. Pity there isn’t an event in that cause she’s a sure thing for gold.
Ok I’m off. Rest and some more painting as time allows.
If you don’t know what OFFS is don’t worry… I’ll give you a hint: Oh for f^&£ sake.
So, you know how you think things are getting better but they slide right back to crap again?
Since yesterday I’d noticed Aunt 1 getting better. She no longer cries out when she gets in and out of bed, sits on the toilet or on the stool to eat. She still whines and moans but things were looking up. Or so I thought…
Then she called me three times today, each time starting the call with something along the lines of: ‘don’t you pity me at all?’ or ‘come down here or I’ll fall over and kill myself’ or similar.
Once down here I have the pleasure of hearing how no one cares for her, God no longer loves her, she can’t take it any more, none of us understand pain, why can’t we call a doctor, she will pay whatever it takes (it took 100 euros for one to visit the house – she’s on a 400 euro a month pension to put that into perspective), why can’t we take her to a hospital, are there no decent doctors in this country, what kind of government is this anyway? why don’t I have someone who can take me to a doctor? If only my dear husband was still alive, but died young (he died at 82) he would have taken care of me, why couldn’t I have fallen and died, where can I fall from to kill myself…
The obvious answer to that is ‘from the roof… think you can make it up two flights of stairs?’
I really am not cut out for this but there’s no way I can let mom have anything to do with Aunt 1 ever again. I’m younger and healthier and I’m already on the brink of losing it.
I just wish I didn’t feel guilty and sad that she’s in pain and has dementia otherwise what I really want to do is leave her a note saying ‘you pissed off Zefi and she left.’
You know, it wouldn’t be so hard caring for her if it wasn’t for the accusations. She never asks something, she accuses. If she simply said ‘Did you give me my meds this morning?’ or ‘Did you call the doctor’ I could handle it. but its always ‘You never give me my pills’ and ‘No one cares enough to call a doctor.’ I kind of can’t help but lose it.
I did notice that while she wore a mask at the medical center she was quiet… think she mask trick will work a home?
I’m sorry to bore you with it. I’m simply not cut out to be a nurse. Just ask Wayne. When he had surgery I sent him to friends to recouperate. I couldn’t handle the abuse people in pain hand out. I am a bitch!
I’ve tried painting again. So far I’ve done 4 small watercolours on paper. I’m only sharing 2 of them cause the others are woeful and talentless!
I’m so not used to working on paper at the moment. The marble and rocks I’ve been working on the last month or so aren’t porous and don’t absorb the paint so I can work in layers, even with watercolour. The paper sucks it all up and I have less time to play with colours. This is one I did yesterday. Its flat and dull.
The second one I did this afternoon is better. Its on acrylic paper rather than watercolour paper and maybe that’s better for the way I’ve been working. I think that if I’m going to work on paper I’ll have to start using acryics again. Or pastels which is my preference.
I love the way the watercolour pools on the acrylic paper. It gives it a crisper more vibrant look. Much better.
I love old photos, the ones my aunt has around her house and the ones mom has in boxes. Though I’ve already collected mom’s and scanned them.
Since I’m in my aunt’s house so much I thought I’d share a couple of great photos she has framed. This one is of her and her father in the early 60s, most likely taken in Athens.
Aunt 1 looks really snooty in this photo. I think she was like that… Kind of all propriety and stiff upper lip with a touch of holier than thou. She’d fallen in love in her teens with a young man on Paros and for whatever reason that didn’t pan out. After that no one else was good enough for her till she was married at age 36 through match making. I think by then she realised she would be an old maid (in fact she was already considered an old maid) so she married the first semi decent man they brought her.
I’m tossing in this photo of the oldest brother in the family (Uncle 1) cause he was gorgeous. Generally that family was very good looking. Pity I took from dad’s side… they also have great genes, being a healthy family who live long lives.
This is one of my favourite photos of Aunt 1… on the beach in her ‘bikini’. Gotta love the bloomers!!! And what about those glasses. She sure was a trendsetter!
I’m passing the time best I can. Took Lainee for a long walk up to the hill behind us and wore the poor little girlie out and now I’m watching my aunt do her little exercise walking to the living room and back before I put her to bed again.
Then I’m going upstairs and to get out my watercolours!!!
No news. Nothing has changed. I’ve now officially seen and spoken to more doctors in one week than in my entire life. But I do have another gem from my aunt.
But first a quick family tree:
The aunt I’m caring for is Aunt 1, the eldest. Next is Aunt 2, mom is 3 and last is Aunt 4. Aunt 1 is sweet when she wants to be, a total PIA when unwell and has dementia which is the only thing which keeps me from strangling her for some of the things she says. Aunt 2 is bent over double and in a race would come second to a snail but she’s a sweetheart. Mom (3) is mom, mostly the best mom in the world. Aunt 4 has a bung knee, a bad temper and a loud mouth but always been nice to me.
So, I was on the phone with Aunt 2 while downstairs with Aunt 1. She was telling me to be very careful of falls and not to climb on ladders or chairs. She had a bad fall a few years ago, hence the paperclip shaped spine. I told her I know. I’ve had my own experience with a chair I’d rather not repeat.
I told her about an incident I heard about today – a man from Paros was on the roof of a 2 storey house and fell to his death.
Picture this. Me in the middle. Aunt 1 standing in front of me, Aunt 2 on the phone. Same story. Two totally different reactions.
Aunt 2 on the phone: Oh the poor man. His poor family. How tragic.
Aunt 1 in front of me: I wish I would fall and kill myself. Why can’t I fall and die?
Me (in wise ass mode): Just a minute, I’ll go get the ladder!
One good thing that’s come from the Corona virus is that greeks have learned to queue and respect personal space… something I was sure was absent on a genetic level.
In the past you’d go to the bank or an office or anywhere really, and there wasn’t a queue so much as a mob of people which moved as one, pushing, shoving and generally breathing down your neck. There was no way to get anything done ‘privately’ as they would lean into you as you did whatever it was you needed to do.
Today I went to the laiki, the fresh food market in our local area, and a lady actually told me off cause I stepped within one meter of her to read a sign. Ooops. Sorry. I WAS wearing a mask…
My life has become a drudgery of caring for my aunt about 4 times a day, doing stuff for her, giving her meds and generally keeping her company for hours in the day while she plods painfully from the kitchen to the bathroom to the bedroom. And trying not to listen to her moaning.
New installment: besides the usual “God why are you torturing me” and the “why didn’t my mother throw me in the rubbish” is the “what kind of doctors are these who can’t make a person better? Are they totally useless?” To which I can’t help reply: “He gave you a set of tests to take. He gave you shots I administer twice a day. He gave you meds. What else can he do? Remove your hip?”
Then there’s keeping mom company (which I fall woefully short on) and doing the shopping and any calls needed to book appointments and get information… And of course taking them both to the myriad of tests they have to do.
The most fun of all is making the calls. Every time I’ve tried to make an appointment follow-up for mom after her discharge from the hospital I’ve been sent on wild goose chases….
Here is a typical call:
“Hello, I’d like to make an appointment for my mother as a follow up to her hospital visit as recommended by the doctor (proceed to read what the Dr had written in my bad greek)”
Get put through to the department.
Repeat what I said.
“Where was your mother? What’s her name? That’s not here. You must call downstairs again and they will put you through to the right department. No we can’t put you through, you must call them again.”
Call again.
Repeat what I said.
Get put through.
Repeat what I said.
“I just spoke to you. This is not the right department.”
Repeat the entire procedure about 2 more times till finally someone gives me another number to call and finally I’m able to make the appointment!
I take Lainee for short walks (usually on an errand run) and try to get some rest to keep my sanity. Even the WordPress app is trying to drive me insane as its working so slowly and not right!
I remain optimistic that I will one day be able to use the watercolours I brought with me. Hopefully while I still remember how to use them.
Lainee making herself comfortable in my aunt’s home.
What can I say? It isn’t easy being here at the moment. Thankfully mom is good. She’s still a bit weak and has dizzy spells but she’s pretty much back to normal. We have a million test and doctor appointments lined up over the next two weeks but fingers crossed, all is well with her.
Better than that is the fact that my mom is such a lovely person. This from someone who never had a great relationship with her mother. I’m thankful that my mom is who she is: easy going, pleasant, much loved by everyone.
Lainee makes herself comfortable in the armchair while mom sits on a stool! Love this photo. Mom looks so happy.
My aunt on the other hand is a totally different story. Looking after her is what drove mom to have a stroke. I love my aunt very much, but she is one of the most difficult people in the world when she’s well. Now that she’s more or less laid up with bad sciatica after a fall, she’s almost impossible.
I got her to the hospital yesterday for xrays to rule out a fracture and have lined up an osteopath to come visit her again tomorrow. She needs to be up walking and not lying in bed too long, but she is in pain and that’s hard to do.
That’s not the worst of it though. Its the constant complaining that drains you of all your energy. She’s got age related memory issues and forgets a lot so she asks the same questions and repeats the same things all the time, asking for a doctor or pain meds repeatedly, and mumbling about how much pain she’s in. I get it. Its a horrible thing. She’s in pain and she’s alone in her home. But now I’m here I am down there for 1-2 hours four times a day, assisting her to get around, eat etc. She must get up and walk if she wants to get better.
If it wasn’t sad it would actually be funny. At times it is funny actually cause I can’t help myself. When she was begging me to kill her the other day I offered to go get a brick.
Among other mutterings: why was I born to suffer so, why didn’t my mother just throw me in the trash instead of raising me to suffer, why is God punishing me when I was always so good, I was strong as an ox, I’ve never been sick in my life before yada yada yada
Of course she’s been sick before. Two years ago she broke her leg, a year or so before that she broke both wrists and mom had to be nursemaid full time. Mom is 87 years old now and my aunt is 92.
I am trying to get her into a nursing home on Paros (the only one as far as I know) so I can visit her there, but its a process and at these times of COVID 19 its even harder than ever to get in. I live in hope. I want to get back home to Paros and to my life and the job I have lined up. I don’t want to lose that.
I’m not complaining about looking after my aunt. I want her to get better and on her feet so I can get back to my own life, including caring for her and mom but not as a full time job. I am staying positive but am being worn down by the lack of time to paint cause I was getting used to painting almost daily.
Hopefully I’ll get a chance this week… who knows. Let’s keep our fingers crossed.
This little wooden painting was something I did many many years ago. My aunt has had it on her wall since I did it. I love the lamb on the ground!
The blog used to be a blog on all the wonderful stuff I’ve been doing during the lockdown. I’m now in Athens… How life can change in a minute…
Thankfully, mom is fine. She’s back to normal, still has dizzy spells and needs to take it easy but the stroke was very light and she’s recovered completely. The dizzy spells are due to her low iron levels. Now she needs to be much more careful about stress and doing too much. That’s all fine. She’s been in lockdown and has had her shopping delivered till now so I’ll do that, which is fine. She is happy I’m here with her so thats all good.
My aunt on the other hand is a totally different story. She had a fall and is unable to do much on her own at all. She needs constant attention and care… I have to divide my time between both old ladies.
I brought my watercolours with me and a water colour pad and I HOPE to be able to do some painting while I’m here. I haven’t had time to yet but I hope I manage… For my own sanity.
I’ll try to blog about positive stuff on a daily basis still, but I won’t promise to. Cause you never know. Right now I’m on an ‘I hate Athens’ binge due to the fact that they are lifting restrictions slowly as of Monday and yesterday, May 1st, EVERYONE and his uncle (cause people were already taking dogs out) were out, kids running wild, I can just see the new spike on COVID 19 cases… sigh
I’m also not impressed by the idiots across the road who sat on their verandah in a group of 4 men, talking ALL night. And they don’t have to be LOUD to be loud when houses are so close as they are here… UGH.
As far as I’m concerned Athens is great when there’s less traffic and pollution you can go out to shop and have coffee with friends, but best in winter when you can close the doors and windows to keep out the hoise a well.
Today is May 1st and I’m in Athens. Day 45 was a normal day till about 6pm when I got a call from two very upset aunts telling me my mom had had a stroke and was in hospital.
Of course that sent me into a spin and matters weren’t made any better when I couldn’t get ahold of anyone at the hospital who could tell me how she was.
A very quiet port as the ferry prepares to leave.
Thankfully one of my aunts was able to speak to a doctor that evening so I knew mom was alert and speaking and that it was only a light stroke.
So I got onto the first (and only) ferry to Athens armed with a note from the doctor explaining why I had to travel and a Blue Star Ferries form declaring I had not been in contact with the virus.
Not even mid winter is this quiet.
It was a very long day, got home, saw my aunt who is 92, lives downstairs, has recently had a fall and needs constant attention, made sure she wouldn’t be alone for hours and went to see mom at the hospital. Spent time with her then back to my aunt to get her dinner, meds and put her back to bed.
Thankfully this hospital isn’t a COVID 19 treatment center and mom was sitting up when I got there.
She is fine
It was a light stroke, and while she’d been unable to talk for a few hours she has no issues remaining from it. The best possible outcome.
I’m in Athens now, for how long I don’t know. Cause once mom is home and even if she’s 100% she can no longer do anything at all for her sister. She is not to even go downstairs to visit. It will be my job.
So till I know what’s happening, what I can organise for both mom and my aunt, I have no idea what I will do or when I can go back home. I ideally want to take mom back to Paros with me… but what of my aunt?
I’ve finished the poodle portrait I’ve been working on and tomorrow it will be on its way to its new owner.
I have to admit I was really nervous about this one because the last poodle portrait I worked on the owner hated. I’d sent her a picture of it ‘in progress’ and she was really rude about it, totally ignoring my explanation that it was unfinished, so my confidence was quite low. To be honest I’m not sure I’ll ever finish that one…
Anyway, today I put up the bird cages. They’ve only got starter plants in them for now but I got them up on the wall. Only one minor incident to report: one cage came off the hook and landed on my head covering me in potting mix… But all good now.
I had some mossy stuff I’d bought to do craft projects with (real moss) so I lined the bottom of the cages with that. The idea being that the moss will be alive and also hold in some potting mix for the succulents to grow in. Two birds.
At least that’s my theory.
Now all I gotta do is get a couple of droopy succulents and wait for them to grow.
As promised, here is a photo of the two bird cages I found rubbish bin adjacent. Great find! I’m still working on how and where I’ll use them. I think I need a couple more fine ‘leafed’ dangly succulents for them. I’m picturing them on the rock wall behind my place with succulents trailing out of them…
Other than that I had a busy yet non-productive day. I took Lainee and Spitha (my uncle’s dog) for a long walk on the beach. I went for a long drive. I visited a nursery where I bought this pretty succulent for the one of the little nooks in the rock wall:
I also bought another basil plant. This time I went for a much bigger specimen and hope it survives. I’m not re-potting it yet to be sure. I also put it in the shade of the pine tree in case it doesn’t do well in the sun.
Its getting hotter now. Much more like summer is on the way. Walks are best in the early morning or late afternoon.
Its time to take the summer clothes out and put away the winter woollies. That’s something I never really did in Australia. Here in Greece its a bi-annual thing. Its kinda nice cause you see clothes you haven’t seen for 6 months and its almost like you have a new wardrobe.
I’m doing spring cleaning now, a bit of work in the house, a bit in the potted garden.
I was really tired so I took a nice long nap. Again. I don’t think I bounced back after that sleepless night and getting up at 7am the next morning.
I’ve also been thinking a lot about this situation we find ourselves in. Specifically I’ve been thinking about how COVID 19 compares to the Spanish Flu of 1918. The thing is, no matter how much research I do there are no definitive answers or numbers… There’s a huge disagreement on the number of fatalities from the 1918 flu and the deaths attributed to the flu itself or the bad treatment of the disease (aspirin given in deadly doses). Which in turn brings into question the fatality rate… its somewhere between 1-2% depending on who you believe as to the number of deaths all over the world – ie similar to COVID 19…
There’s also the fact that there was a war on in 1918, the disease was spread by soldiers and there were a lot of people living in cramped conditions with poor hygience.
On the other hand we have airplanes and more people travel these days enabling the spread of the virus to all parts of the world much quicker.
If COVID 19 had hit then, would it had killed at the same rate? More? Less? If we had the Spanish Flu now, how would that have affected the world in spread rate and death toll? Would it be similar, better or worse?
Both spread fast. Both can kill. Both are novel so there is no immunity in the population. We still have large populations living in cramped conditions with poor hygience…
One killed young healthy people, the other mainly kills older people or those with underlying issues. One is a flu the other is a sort of pneumonia.
Is it really that different or is the world different?
Its a really interesting subject and one I’m not in the least qualified to answer. I’d love to see experts talk on this subject cause right now, in 2020, we had information on the virus and its DNA mapped within weeks of learning of its existence. We know about personal hygiene and how to keep safe, We know how it spreads and most governments put into effect social distancing, cancelling large group events, shutting down businesses etc in order to slow the spread. We are in a much better position than the world was in in 1918.
If we’d done nothing and just let the virus spread naturally, infecting almost the entire population, overwhelming the health care systems of the world, would we be in the same position as 1918, with tens of millions dead?
I’m not a paranoid type, but I do think about things like that. I know that it can kill, but I’m not overly worried. I figure most of us will get it and recover unless a vaccine is found to stop it.
Maybe that’s why I can’t sleep some nights.
Then other times I’m just too busy building things in my mind to sleep.
junk4joy 