Tag Archives: writing

its that time…

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You know. Before a trip, when you’re almost entirely ready, almost everything but the last minute things are packed, you have nothing to do really but wait till its time to go to bed and get up in the morning, do the last minute things, and go.

You can’t start anything new. Almost everything has been finished and put away, or thrown or given away. You can’t pack up the charger, the laptop, your toothbrush or Vincent’s toothbrush cause you’ll need them tonight and/or in the morning.

Its that wasting time time when you have time to think and maybe bore people.

So here I am, writing a post just cause I can’t think of anything else to do.

Its a nothing post and to be honest, I do wonder why I’m even bothering to keep posting in general. Its not like I have a ton of followers or I promote my Etsy shop enough to make it worthwhile.

I post for a few reasons. One reason is that recently a good friend told me that I have a style that’s obvious in my posts and that I need to keep that ‘voice’ when I write fiction.

So I need the practice.

Sometimes its to share stuff that might interest my friends, in one place, cause I’m too lazy to send out emails or, heaven forbid!, make a phone call. Gone are the days when I’d sit on the phone with friends for hours. Now when the phone rings I pick up in case its work, but I almost always groan inwardly thinking “leave me alone, I really don’t feel like talking to anyone now”.

(Except for you, you know who you are.)

How awful is that? Its not like back when I worked at the travel agency and spent 6 hours a day talking, talking, talking to everyone who walked in the door who wanted to buy a ferry ticket, or ask about activities on the island or where the closest public toilet was. Now, most of the day I talk to mom (and that can be so wearing, hearing the same stories over and over, and yes, I appreciate her and I know that one day I’d be giving anything to hear her stories one more time) or to a dog I might be grooming – which is very fulfilling in so many ways.

But I’m still too tired/bored/lazy to actually talk to someone on the phone.

How life has changed.

Years ago, when I first got Scooter and then Billybear, my ‘toyboys’ – two toy poodle pups, and moved into a house with Simon (the then boyfriend) we’d go out for a movie or dinner and all we wanted to do was get back home to the dogs!

I think that’s where I am right now. I’d rather be home with my Vincent. He and my art is all the company I need. Plus Netflix and audio books. I am content.

People say “aren’t you lonely?” “isn’t Paros too quiet in winter?” “how will you ever meet a man if you don’t go out and do things?”…

To them I say:

I am never lonely. I have Vincent. I have my craft and DIY projects. I have my computer and all the social life that lives in there. I have my art. It never crosses my mind to be lonely. And if I ever feel the need for company, I have good friends I can call or meet.

No, its not too quiet in winter. There is so much to do on Paros. In fact, sometimes there is TOO MUCH to do. If you have friends and have any modicum of a social circle, there is always something to do. In fact there have been times in winter when I’ve made excuses to NOT go out.

Well, I’m not that sure I want to meet a man. I’ve been alone too long now. I don’t know if a man will fit in my life. I tried the whole visualize and manifesting the man of my dreams, but I’m so ambivalent about it, its never going to work.

I love cooking what I want, when I want it. Snuggling on the couch with a hot chocolate on cold nights, with a warm blanket, woolly socks, comfy pants and a little poodle. I watch soppy Christmas movies or serial killer series and all sorts of things in between.

Saw this on Facebook the other day and its almost totally true.

I turn on my fairy lights and sometimes even sip a Baileys on ice. I love my quiet evenings at home, after a day spent painting or creating.

I also love Christmas, but living alone, I feel its silly to do the full on Christmas decorating thing. I would love to go all out one day, but for now, its the fairy lights inside and sometimes out, other times just in the window, which is a waste cause my window isn’t really visible to passersby, and a tiny table top Christmas tree… that’s about it. Kinda sad, but its home and its cozy. I think the fairy lights make it all better.

What is this post about?

I have no idea. I’m just writing things as they come to me. I’ve had dinner. Vincent and mom are fed. Mom is watching some crappy Greek TV and I’m at the kitchen table, watercolour pencils and brushes laid out next to me tempting me to start something new and I keep saying “No. there’s no time”…

I might go check on our bags. Make sure they are ready. Then again, I’ll be up early and I’ll have time to do that then. As well.

Ok. I’ll leave you be and see if the watercolours win out.

z

why i’ve been missing in action

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I’ve been in Athens for more than a month so far caring for my mother. If you remember, she’d been unwell all last summer from various falls, COVID, pneumonia and pain. She recovered enough to return to her home in Athens and was even able to walk to the little park opposite our house to enjoy the sunshine on nice days.

In October she fell again and seemed to recover quickly from that till about mid January when the pain became unbearable. Of course she kept me in the dark as to how bad it was and luckily her friends and neighbours helped her with things like the housework and food preparation.

She was taken to a doctor who told her she needed to either stay in bed* or put on a brace. My mother refused both options. Stubborn.

*Bed was not an option in my mind. At her age, bed rest for any period of time means she’d never get up again.

When I learned how bad things were I came and began to care for her. She’s in a bad way. She has multiple osteoporotic fractures in her spine from the various falls (or just from living, according to the doctor) and there is no real ‘fix’.

Alternatives were bandied about (mostly by hopeful me) like a cement like substance injected into the vertebrae to tie them together, spinal fusion, anything, grasping at straws, but the doctors all say that due to her age (93) these options are not really viable. They say they can cause more problems, may not in fact help with the pain, and put her at risk of complications.

So, it seems pain killers and management are the way to go.

hmph.

Mom has had issues with constipation all her life due to a genetic issue, so taking opioids is not an option at all. So she’s living on Paracetamol.

She’s been fitted with a brace that she’s been told to wear for a month, then have another MRI to see how things are going.

Right. As if old fractures will heal after all this time… allow me to be skeptical.

Mom is wearing it and complaining, naturally, but she has no choice. She doesn’t want to take the pain pills either for fear of constipation (though with various stool softeners, that’s not an issue) and because ‘they don’t help at all’. She’s also refusing to do more tests cause she’s ‘not a guinea pig’ and its too painful to go have the tests done.

I don’t blame her… she can barely go from one room to another without intense pain and wearing herself out, imagine having to go to some lab in a taxi then wait her turn, and then get on a metal slab… but… what can I do?

Its been bad enough mom called/calls/wants me to call various doctors as if someone will tell her something different. sigh.

We’re in Athens for another month now, then I’m taking her to Paros. I don’t believe she will get any better, so I may as well go where I have some chances of earning money. Its either that or I give everything up and stay in Athens. Not that hasn’t crossed my mind…

I’m a bit depressed. When I arrived I’d brought needle felting stuff and I’ve made a few critters which I can’t finish cause I don’t have all my stuff here to finish them. Plus I ran out of steam. I started trying to paint and feel like an untalented hack. Nothing works. So I care for mom and watch a lot of stuff on Netflix.

As if that wasn’t all bad enough, last Friday my mom’s youngest sibling – her closest sister – had what we think was an aneurism. She’d been complaining of headaches and was leaving a friend’s house when they found her lying unconscious on the ground in the orchard with multiple broken bones. They flew her to Athens to an intensive care unit where she never woke up, dying 24 hrs later. It might sound harsh, but she is lucky she passed away and didn’t linger. She was already struggling with the beginnings of dementia, broken bones and whatever other issues she may have had wouldn’t have left her with much quality of life.

So, my life currently revolves around caring for mom. She can barely stand using a walking frame or move without intense pain from her back down her legs. She’s getting weaker. I dress her and put the brace on for her in the morning and undress and remove it at night, I prepare her meals (and let me tell you, I never liked cooking much… especially greek food!) she spends most of the day in the living room where she sits or lies on the couch all day.

At least she has friends and neighbours visit her here and help the time pass. And she has the phone almost permanently attached to her ear. With her sister’s death the both the landline and mobile have been ringing constantly.

I have no inspiration. I want to go home but worry about how I’ll manage to work when mom needs me at home so much. I can groom from home, or I could go out and do max 2 dogs but my time away from home will be limited because she will need help.

I’m speaking to someone about removing my bath tub and putting in a shower so she can get in and out. And I’m trying to figure out how I can make my tiny home more comfortable for the two of us.

So, that’s my news in case you were wondering. Hopefully I’ll get inspired again and finish my felted critters or do something to share. Till then… its been nice knowing ya!

z

dizzy – a commissioned dog sculpture

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This is one dog I especially loved doing. He belongs to a friend of mine and he’s a beautiful boy with a lovely personality and serious ball addiction.

He’s some kind of terrier mix with huge ears and a crazy coat.

Here is a close up of his face and those massive ears.

And a little 3D visual.

So, how did I achieve that coat you ask? Well, I thought the best thing for it would be to use gauze. I raided my medicine cabinet and took out some gauze which I dyed by soaking in coloured water: the black was diluted acrylic paint, and the tan was… you guesed it! Black tea!

I then cut up the gauze strips into sections and laid them over the figure in a way that matched Dizzy’s colouring and the direction of the coat.

I then brushed the gauze to loosen it up and give it a more ‘hairy’ appearance.

It worked out pretty well even if do say so myself.

Mind you, the coat is not soft and flowing. I had to fix him with PVA glue to make sure he stayed intact, but he’s a sculpture, not a toy, so I figure that doesn’t matter.

The friend that commissioned him asked about his eyes. I don’t do eyes on my dogs. I’m not really sure why, they just seem better that way. Maybe its because I don’t feel I can do them justice this way, not like I can in my paintings. Maybe its cause without eyes you can project your own eyes onto them, your mind automatically fills in the blanks and imparts the emotions that you want to see in the figures.

Maybe I’m full of crap. But I’m the artist, so I have creative license. Ha.

z

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ring around the rosie. again.

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It’s been an ‘interesting’ couple of days. Well, a month+ actually. But I’m pleased to tell you it’s nowhere near sorted out yet.

See, back when I first arrived in Greece almost 6 years ago, I got my aunt #1 to sign a power of attorney for me to act as her representative for all things legal. She was already showing troubling signs of dementia and I needed it done before she lost it entirely.

Well, all went well for a little while. And then I found out that power of attorney here in Greece has a shelf life of TWO YEARS.

Yes. You read that right. Two years. Like she’s gonna get better in two years and take over her own affairs.

My aunt is now in the nursing home and, although she does have moments of clarity, she is far from being ‘of sound mind’. I was told that the only way to get to be her ‘guardian’ now would be to go through the court. Uhuh. Like I have the money to do that. Maybe not even the time… who knows… I know the courts are notoriously slow here.

Aunt #1 is now totally wheelchair bound, unable to support herself on her stick thin legs. She is so weak she can barely talk. But she’s clinging on to life and is eating and happy to see us when we visit though it’s horrible to see her like this.

When I decided that the best place for her was the nursing home (seeing as she needed round the clock care) I rented her apartment to pay for the nursing home. Back then it was easy. I had power of attorney to sign anything necessary. And back then we didn’t need a energy efficiency certificate for the house in order to rent it.

NOW however, we do need it and about 1.5 months ago I asked my engineer’s company to organise one for me. It’s part of what they do after all.

1 month, 4 texts, 1 conversation and 1 email later I finally received the certificate and checked it. The address was wrong and the photo of the property is wrong. Not only did the idiot who did it put the address down as the corner of x and xx streets (which is mom’s house, my aunt’s house faces only one street) but the google maps photo he included in the certificate was of the house OPPOSITE.

I replied, telling him where he was wrong, included a picture of the actual house and waited. And waited. And waited.

I still haven’t got a new one.

What I did get was an email asking me to get my aunt to sign an official declaration and have the signature authenticated in order to produce the certificate.

Funny. They didn’t ask for that first time around… another mistake? Or did some law change again? Hard to know in Greece.

So, I called the guy and said my aunt can’t possibly go sign the thing in front of a legal witness.

He suggested I speak to my/her accountant. Which I did. They say, yes, they can do it through the taxation department as they have all her log in details, but we need a telephone in her name.

Now, we took away my aunt’s phone even before she went into the nursing home casuse she would call people at all hours and tell them everyone had abandoned her even we’d just been with her for hours.

The accountant said, just go buy a phone in her name. So I went. And was told I need a declaration from her saying she was authorizing me to get a phone in her name.

Ring around the rosie indeed.

Why on earth do you have to get a new power of attorney as a carer/responsible person for someone every two years? Maybe everywhere. How would I know? It just seems stupid, dumb, foolish, irrelevant, ludicrous, senseless, brainless, dim, dopey, deficient, idiotic, imbecilic, meaningless, mindless, moronic, needless, nonsensical, obtuse, unnecessary, pointless, puerile, redundant, simpleminded, superfluous, useless, and a waste of everyone’s time.

As for needing her signature for everything, ok, I get that, but it just brings me back to “Why on earth do I need a new power of attorney????”

Who else would be responsible for her? My 93 yr old mother, her sister, or me, her niece. She has no children.

At least we don’t have to worry about her property after she dies. She has a will. But it would be fun times if she didn’t, thats for sure!!!

Holy cow.

It’s so much fun living in Greece.

z