You know. Before a trip, when you’re almost entirely ready, almost everything but the last minute things are packed, you have nothing to do really but wait till its time to go to bed and get up in the morning, do the last minute things, and go.
You can’t start anything new. Almost everything has been finished and put away, or thrown or given away. You can’t pack up the charger, the laptop, your toothbrush or Vincent’s toothbrush cause you’ll need them tonight and/or in the morning.
Its that wasting time time when you have time to think and maybe bore people.
So here I am, writing a post just cause I can’t think of anything else to do.
Its a nothing post and to be honest, I do wonder why I’m even bothering to keep posting in general. Its not like I have a ton of followers or I promote my Etsy shop enough to make it worthwhile.
I post for a few reasons. One reason is that recently a good friend told me that I have a style that’s obvious in my posts and that I need to keep that ‘voice’ when I write fiction.
So I need the practice.
Sometimes its to share stuff that might interest my friends, in one place, cause I’m too lazy to send out emails or, heaven forbid!, make a phone call. Gone are the days when I’d sit on the phone with friends for hours. Now when the phone rings I pick up in case its work, but I almost always groan inwardly thinking “leave me alone, I really don’t feel like talking to anyone now”.
(Except for you, you know who you are.)
How awful is that? Its not like back when I worked at the travel agency and spent 6 hours a day talking, talking, talking to everyone who walked in the door who wanted to buy a ferry ticket, or ask about activities on the island or where the closest public toilet was. Now, most of the day I talk to mom (and that can be so wearing, hearing the same stories over and over, and yes, I appreciate her and I know that one day I’d be giving anything to hear her stories one more time) or to a dog I might be grooming – which is very fulfilling in so many ways.
But I’m still too tired/bored/lazy to actually talk to someone on the phone.
How life has changed.
Years ago, when I first got Scooter and then Billybear, my ‘toyboys’ – two toy poodle pups, and moved into a house with Simon (the then boyfriend) we’d go out for a movie or dinner and all we wanted to do was get back home to the dogs!
I think that’s where I am right now. I’d rather be home with my Vincent. He and my art is all the company I need. Plus Netflix and audio books. I am content.
People say “aren’t you lonely?” “isn’t Paros too quiet in winter?” “how will you ever meet a man if you don’t go out and do things?”…
To them I say:
I am never lonely. I have Vincent. I have my craft and DIY projects. I have my computer and all the social life that lives in there. I have my art. It never crosses my mind to be lonely. And if I ever feel the need for company, I have good friends I can call or meet.
No, its not too quiet in winter. There is so much to do on Paros. In fact, sometimes there is TOO MUCH to do. If you have friends and have any modicum of a social circle, there is always something to do. In fact there have been times in winter when I’ve made excuses to NOT go out.
Well, I’m not that sure I want to meet a man. I’ve been alone too long now. I don’t know if a man will fit in my life. I tried the whole visualize and manifesting the man of my dreams, but I’m so ambivalent about it, its never going to work.
I love cooking what I want, when I want it. Snuggling on the couch with a hot chocolate on cold nights, with a warm blanket, woolly socks, comfy pants and a little poodle. I watch soppy Christmas movies or serial killer series and all sorts of things in between.
I turn on my fairy lights and sometimes even sip a Baileys on ice. I love my quiet evenings at home, after a day spent painting or creating.
I also love Christmas, but living alone, I feel its silly to do the full on Christmas decorating thing. I would love to go all out one day, but for now, its the fairy lights inside and sometimes out, other times just in the window, which is a waste cause my window isn’t really visible to passersby, and a tiny table top Christmas tree… that’s about it. Kinda sad, but its home and its cozy. I think the fairy lights make it all better.
What is this post about?
I have no idea. I’m just writing things as they come to me. I’ve had dinner. Vincent and mom are fed. Mom is watching some crappy Greek TV and I’m at the kitchen table, watercolour pencils and brushes laid out next to me tempting me to start something new and I keep saying “No. there’s no time”…
I might go check on our bags. Make sure they are ready. Then again, I’ll be up early and I’ll have time to do that then. As well.
Ok. I’ll leave you be and see if the watercolours win out.
z
junk4joy 